Sometimes Love
by Toonces
Summary: Matt leaves town on business and disappears.
1. Chapter 1

A little something I conjured up. It is sort of based on _Matt's Love Story_, but I changed a lot of things. I would much rather imagine it this way anyway. I don't have a continuation going now, but I definitely have ideas for one. I left a few things open that I would like to explore more. So, hopefully, one day, there will be more to this story. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to give me some feedback on my work. Please, enjoy.

**Gunsmoke: **_Sometimes Love_

**Part 1**

Sometimes love is not the way that you thought it would be. Sometimes people get these notions in their head that everything is gonna be perfect all the time. I can't say that I expected things to be perfect. I mean…he is the Marshal of Dodge City after all. That meant broken dates, interrupted dinners, and even interrupted kisses. I could deal with that, but what I never expected to have to deal with was another woman. It wasn't really his fault I suppose, but it hurt just the same, maybe even worse. Let me start at the beginning.

It had been three years since I moved to Dodge and two years since Matt and I had been together. I was now half owner of the Long Branch and much busier than I had been as a just a saloon hostess. Matt would stop by and visit me most nights and he was even available for dinner more times than not. He was a busy man though and he would often have to leave town for days, maybe even weeks, at a time. We were having dinner at Delmonico's when he told me that he would be leaving the next day for Hayes.

"How long do you think you'll be gone?" I asked him for the umpteenth time in three years as I took a sip of my coffee. Delmonico's must have gotten a new chef because the coffee was a little thick and the steak was a lot tough, or maybe the food was fine and my mood had just changed. I understood what his job entailed, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

"Oh, probably about two weeks this time, Kitty," he told me. I think he hated going away for so long as much as I did. I tried to remember that most of the time and not take any of my frustrations out on him. "I've got some papers to deliver, plus that trial to go to." I only nodded my head and continued to eat my dinner.

Later on, Matt was walking me back to the Long Branch. It was a quiet evening and we were practically alone on the streets. It was chilly out and I pulled my cape tighter around my shoulders. Then I felt his large hand come to rest around my waist and he pulled me closer. "Are you alright?" he asked me. I looked up at him. Something in his eyes made me melt and I immediately let go of any anger that I was holding onto concerning him having to leave.

"I'm fine," I told him with a smile as I laid my head on his shoulder. "You leaving first thing?" I asked, resigning myself to that fact that this is just the way it was.

"Yeah, I need to get back to the office and make sure I have everything I need for the trip."

"Well, come on. We can go and do that now." He agreed and we crossed the street and headed for the jail. Hopefully, if he got his packing done now, he could spend the whole night with me, provided some incident didn't occur. I sat down in one of the chairs at the small table, and watched as he grabbed his saddlebags and the items he would need to take with him: jerky, coffee, a couple cans of beans, extra bullets, and some papers. I stopped paying attention after that because I couldn't get over the fact that men seemed to think jerky, beans, and coffee were the only things to take on a trip. "How come every time you go on a trip you always take jerky and beans?" I asked him. Matt looked at me like I was crazy. Probably, only a woman would ask such a question.

"What else is there to take?" he said and continued to pack.

"You need to get creative," I said. "It's bad enough to have to eat out on the trail, but it doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience all the time."

"Well, what would you suggest?" he asked, now amused. "A turkey dinner with all the fixins?"

"Don't be smart," I told him as he continued to smile. "It's too late this time, but you just let me know before you leave out on your next trip. You'll be pleasantly surprised." I smiled with a raised brow as Matt finished up his packing. We then headed back to the Long Branch for a drink.

Later on that night, we were laying in bed kissing. We couldn't do much more than that considering I was on my monthly, but still, kissing was good. Matt was such a good kisser. He took his time about it and he was never rough. He kissed first my top lip and then my bottom lip and then both. Then he would ever so slowly work his tongue into my mouth and slide it over my own. His kisses alone were enough to get me going and his lips were incredibly soft.

Surprisingly, we weren't interrupted that night, but morning came all too soon and it was time for Matt to be on his way. I stood from the bed and walked over to him as he finished buckling his gun belt. "You make sure and come back to me in one piece, Cowboy," I said as I pulled him into a tight hug. I was never terribly emotional when Matt had to go out of town. Heck, every time I turned around it seemed like he had to leave for some reason or another. I was pretty used to it, but this time…this time I _really_ didn't want him to leave. Maybe I was being silly, but I had a funny feeling inside.

"Don't worry, Kitty," Matt told me as hugged me even tighter. "I'll be back before you know it." He smiled and I pulled his head down and gave him a deep kiss. Anytime he left I always gave him a kiss like it would be the last. I never wanted to openly think about it, but in the back of my mind, I knew that it very well could be. It was just one of the burdens I had to deal with being a lawman's woman.

**MkM**

It had been an agonizing four weeks and there was still no word from Matt. I was practically crazy with worry and everyone knew it. I could tell Doc and Chester were just as worried. I could barely sleep at night and Doc had tried giving me something for it, but I refused. Even, Chester, bless his heart, tried to keep me preoccupied. He would always come and see if I wanted to have my meals with him and Doc and he even offered to take me fishing a couple times. I accepted the invitation the first time, hoping that it would help to pass time, but it just wasn't any fun anymore and it only served to remind me of all the times Matt had taken me. There had been plenty of times before when Matt's trips had taken longer than planned, but he always managed to get word to us. This time there was no word at all and that had to mean that something was wrong. A telegram was sent after the middle of the third week, and the Sheriff in Hayes said that Matt had come and gone without incident.

I was standing at the end of the bar staring into the glass of whiskey that I had barely even touched when Chester came in. "Evenin', Miss Kitty," he said softly with a tip of his hat. I gave him a small unenthusiastic smile in return and continued staring at my drink. "Miss Kitty, I think it's time I went lookin' for Mister Dillon. It's been over two weeks now since he's been due back. He could be alive out there and just needin' some help," Chester said with determination in his voice.

"I think you're right, Chester." We both looked over at the sound of Doc's voice. He was standing behind Chester and neither of us had heard him come up. "I think we've waited long enough to see if Matt would get in touch with us. Now, it's time we look for him," Doc said. Chester nodded in agreement.

"Well," he said with a sigh, "I'm gon' head back to the office and turn in early. I wanna be well rested for tomorra'," he said and turned to leave.

"Chester," I called to him. "You be careful. I don't want anything happening to you either."

**KmK**

Chester had left and come back with nothing. My heart broke. What could I think other than Matt was dead? I spent many nights alone in my room crying and thinking. I didn't just want to run away from things, but I wasn't sure how much longer I would be able to stay in Dodge. Matt was my reason for being here. Sure, I had the Long Branch, but I wasn't nearly as attached to it. I thought long and hard about whether I wanted to sell my half back to Bill.

**MkM**

It had been two and a half months since I last saw Matt and I had somehow managed to continue on with my life. I put all of my energy into the Long Branch and business was booming. I had become a much harder person as well. I kept to myself mostly and I stopped attending any of the town events. Chester and Doc always tried to get me to go, but I always declined. Even though I was sad, I wasn't oblivious to Doc and Chester's pain. I knew they missed him, too.

Chester had been in charge of the law ever since Matt had been gone, but a new Marshal was coming soon. People were starting to take advantage of the fact that Dodge was short a lawman and even though Chester did his best, he couldn't be expected to keep the peace alone. Me owning a saloon, of course, meant that I was especially witness to some of the rough housing that wouldn't have went on had Matt been here. It was funny because him not being here made me realize, much more, how important his role as the lawman was.

I remember laying in bed one night thinking about my future. I knew for certain that I wouldn't be staying in Dodge much longer. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I think that the only reason I had stayed this long was because a part of me hung on to the hope that maybe one day, when no expected it, he would just appear out of the blue. I would soon find out that I wasn't too far off in my wishing.

The hard part about it all was not knowing what had happened to him. It was as if he had vanished into thin air.

**KmK**

Two more weeks had passed and I was starting to feel like the walls were closing in. It was time to leave Dodge City. I quietly went about planning my departure. I bought a ticket at the train station a week in advance. I did a little bit of packing everyday. I even had a few silent offers for my share of the Long Branch. I would eventually have to tell Bill of my plans since they directly concerned him. The hardest part of all would be leaving Doc and Chester. They had really been there for me and I would miss them terribly.

It was a day like any other in Dodge. It was hot and muggy and the town seemed to be moving in slow motion. I was just coming from Delmonico's with Chester when the stage came in.

"That sure is a pretty sight," he said softly as he watched mesmerized. I smiled a little at the look on his face. We continued watching as it pulled to a stop. The drivers jumped down and one began retrieving the luggage from the top while the other opened the door for the passengers. I didn't see the man's face at first when he stepped from the stage because he immediately turned around to assist a woman. She was very attractive with dark hair and she wore a wine colored dress with a hat and parasol to match. She smiled up at the man who was dressed in black slacks and a gray suit jacket. He immediately reminded me of Matt.

"Come on, Chester. I'll buy you a beer," I said as I began to walk away. I stopped when I heard him gasp.

"Forevermore, Miss Kitty," he said, his eyes still focused on the stage. "It's Mr. Dillon!" My head whipped over in the direction of the stage and sure enough Chester was right. My first instinct was to run over to him, but something kept me glued to the spot. My heart was pounding and I thought I might pass out. The dark haired woman had her arm hooked through his and he was smiling down at her as they walked toward me and Chester. By now, more and more people were starting to recognize him, but no one had confronted him yet. His hair was worn a little longer than usual and he had a goatee. It was strange to see him that way.

They continued to come closer and closer and finally he was passing us. He didn't even look at me, say two words to me. Chester hadn't said anything either, so I assumed he was just as stunned as I was. I watched rather stupidly as they made their way into the Dodge House.

**MkM**

"Well, Doc, I think one of needs to go find him and talk to him. We need to find out what happened to him and why he's been gone all this time. You shoulda seen the way he walked right passed us with that woman on his arm." Chester was obviously upset. I was too, but it was obvious that Matt was suffering from some memory problems to have totally ignored us like that. Earlier, after Chester and I had stood there dumbfounded we ran into Doc on our way back to the Long Branch and Chester explained what happened. I had yet to say anything. But one thing was for sure, Matt Dillon was alive and that alone lifted a weight from my heart.

"Chester, in my medical opinion, the last thing we need to do is bog him down with a bunch of memories that he doesn't even know are his." I watched Doc as he wiped his mouth. "I do agree though, that something needs to be done. Somebody needs to talk to him."

"Well, I'll talk to him, Doc. It's not a matter of findin' someone to talk to him…"

"Chester, you have a tendency to run your mouth. It can't be you that talks to him." Chester began to argue, but I cut him off.

"You go, Doc," I said making the decision. "We need to find out for sure what's wrong with him and neither Chester nor I can do that." Doc nodded his head in agreement.

**KmK**

Chester and I stood at the end of the bar anxiously waiting for Doc to get back. He had been gone for more than an hour. We heard someone pushing open the batwing doors and we both looked up to find Doc shuffling in. My heart was beating so hard.

"Well, Doc?" said Chester as he reached us.

"Well…It's definitely Matt…but he doesn't remember a thing about Dodge City. He doesn't remember me or anyone." I just stared, waiting for him to continue. "The young lady with him says she found him out on the trail with a bad head wound and he couldn't seem to remember anything."

"Doc…do you think he'll ever remember us?" I finally asked.

"It's hard to say for sure, Kitty. Cases dealing with memory loss are hard to pinpoint. The brain is a very delicate thing."

"So, Doc, what is Mr. Dillon doing here now? And who is that woman with him?" I'm glad Chester asked. I wanted to, but I was afraid of the answer I would hear.

"How about a beer first?" I offered. I knew I was just putting off the inevitable. I drew us all a beer and we carried them over to a table. After a few moments, Doc spoke again.

"The woman's name is Michaela Yardner. Matt…or maybe I should say _Dan_…has been staying with her all this time." I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I stared at Doc intently knowing there was more. "They came to Dodge to settle down…" He looked over at me. "And to eventually get married." So, that was it. After three months of worrying my head off, it turns out that Matt…_Dan_…is more than alive. He has completely forgotten me and is marrying another woman. This is beyond a nightmare.

**MkM**

Now what? A day had passed since he came strolling into town with that _woman_. I knew logically that I shouldn't dislike her, but I couldn't help it. She had taken my guy from me. Now, I was faced with the question of whether I should still leave Dodge or not. Should I once again wait for Matt and see if he would get his memory back. I knew that this wasn't Matt's fault, but now I was starting to get pissed. It seemed like I was always waiting for him whether it be waiting for him to pick me up for dinner, waiting for him to get back from a trip, or waiting for him to decide that marriage is something to consider with me. It just always seemed to be something.

So, here I was, a week later…waiting. I couldn't help myself. I was head over heels in love with that man and I couldn't leave knowing that there could still be a chance for us. I knew I was risking my heart being broken…smashed to nothing, if he married Mike (I had learned she was called). I'd seen him around town a few times during the week, but he had yet to come into the Long Branch. If I knew my man though, he would be in eventually. He and Mike were still staying at the Dodge House and it killed me to think about whether they had been intimate or not. I tried to focus on the fact that he didn't know who he was and that if he did, he certainly wouldn't do that.

I was in the general store when he came in. It was only the second time that I had seen him up close since he came back. I had only been in there a few moments and I hadn't seen Mr. Jonas yet. I guess I was kind of staring at him and I couldn't look away when he turned to look at me. He gave me a handsome smile and I smiled in return. Somehow, I pulled myself away and turned back to the material I was looking at and forced myself to take a deep breath. It didn't work though because I heard his footsteps approaching me.

"Excuse me," he said and I turned to him. He was directly in front of me and all I wanted to do was fall into his arms, but somehow I restrained myself. "Do you know where the clerk went to?" he asked.

"I think he's out back with a customer," I told him. I couldn't believe I got that out so clearly. I continued to look at him and he seemed to be staring at me just as hard.

"Do I know you?" His brow creased some when he asked. I wasn't sure what to say at first. Should I simply say _yes_ or should I say _yes_ and give him some details? I chose to keep it simple.

"Yes, we know each other." I think my voice was shaking. Just then Mr. Jonas came from the back. He saw Matt first.

"Hello, Marshal," he said as he glanced up from a piece of paper he was reading. "I'll be with you in just a second. I just need to tally these numbers up b'fore I forget," he said only half paying attention as he pulled a pencil from behind his ear. If Matt was surprised at being called Marshal, he didn't show it. Mr. Jonas looked up and finally caught sight of me. "Oh, hello there, Miss Kitty. I'll just be a second."

"Actually, the lady was here first," Matt spoke. Mr. Jonas looked up a little confused.

"Oh, well, aren't you two here together?" the store clerk asked stupidly. Matt and I used to come in together all the time. I had to cut in before this got even more awkward.

"Mr. Jonas, _Dan_ and I are here separately," I said as I walked up to the counter. I put some emphasis on the name. Surely, Mr. Jonas, one of the nosiest men I know, had heard about Matt losing his memory by now. Realization finally showed in his eyes.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Miss Kitty. I'll get your packages right away." He went into the back and I stood there facing ahead and hoping that Matt wouldn't ask me anymore questions. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and I felt the warmth of him as he came up behind me.

"Miss Kitty, how do we know each other?" I slowly turned around and looked up at him.

"We're friends," I managed to say. He was looking at me so intently and I was praying that his memory was coming back to him. Very slowly, he began to reach his hand up to my face. My eyes closed when the calloused fingers touched my cheek.

"Open your eyes," he said, almost in a pleading voice. I did as he asked and watched as he leaned down toward me. "So familiar…" he whispered as his lips ever so lightly brushed mine. And of course, Mr. Jonas chose that moment to come back in with my things. I immediately pulled away from Matt and turned around to face the counter. If Mr. Jonas saw anything, he didn't comment, which I was glad of. I was sure my face was flushed and my breathing was heavy. I could still feel Matt behind me.

"Here are your things, Miss Kitty. Your total comes to eight dollars and eleven cents."

"Thank you, Mr. Jonas. Just put it on my bill." I grabbed my four packages and got out of the store just as fast as I could. I didn't even look at Matt. I don't know what was wrong with me. After all, he was my man wasn't he? I have made love with this man more times than I can remember and he knew the most personal things about me and I him. So, why was I running scared?

Later that day, I was sitting at a table in back playing a game of solitary.

"Five of clubs on the six of hearts," I heard from over my shoulder. I looked up into the face of Dan. I figured I had better get used to calling him that because my Matt was probably gone forever. "Can I sit?" he asked. I nodded my head and went back to my game. I was pretty much over my shock from earlier. "Listen, I'm sorry about what happened earlier in the general store. I don't know what got into me."

"It's alright." We sat there for a few moments and then the hostess in me came out. "Would you like a drink?"

"Sure," he said smiling. "A beer sounds good." I called over to Sam for two beers. "So, you work here?" he asked once Sam had left. I looked up at him and I didn't see any disgust on his face.

"Yeah, I work here. I own the place." He looked a little surprised. This was so strange.

"Isn't this a dangerous business for a woman?"

I shrugged. "No more dangerous than it is for a man really." He nodded and we sat quietly for a minute.

"Well, I guess I had better get back to Mike." I immediately tensed at the mention of her and unfortunately, Matt picked up on it. He was giving me that intense look again. I began dealing a new game of solitary, trying to calm myself. "We were more than friends weren't we?" he asked softly.

"It doesn't matter," I said tight lipped. Matt reached over and stilled my hand. I couldn't take much more of him touching me.

"It does matter."

"Why?" I said looking up at him sharply. "You don't even remember me. Besides, you have Mike now. You love her…don't you?" He just stared at me. I took that as my answer and I stood to go in my office as he sat there.

**mKm**

Another week had passed and things were going. I felt like I was at a standstill. I was at Delmonico's the other day when Mike and _Dan_ came in. They looked every bit the happy couple. Unfortunately, I was just starting on my meal, so I was forced to stay and listen to them. They didn't see me, I don't think, and they ended up sitting just one table away from me. Joe came over and took their order.

"Dan, we should set a date soon," said Mike as she took a sip of her water. So, they hadn't set a date yet. I loosely wondered what they were going to use for a last name.

"I know, honey, but I'd like to find some land for us first. I've made arrangements to look at some tomorrow afternoon." The smile on Mike's face made me wanna puke. I had yet to say two words to the woman, but as far as I could tell, we didn't have one thing to say to each other.

Doc told me that Matt had been in to see him regularly, but he still wasn't showing any signs of getting his memory back. He had stopped in the Long Branch a couple more times, but I always managed to make myself scarce when he did. The townsfolk seemed to have accepted the fact that Matt was no longer the marshal and the new marshal had arrived weeks ago. He was no Matt Dillon, but I suppose he was doing a fare job. His name was Thomas Wayne. He was well over six feet tall and he had a head full of blonde hair. I had only spoken with him a handful of times, but he seemed like a gentlemen. He and Chester were becoming good friends as well. I could tell that Chester was having a hard time dealing with the situation as well. Matt was pretty much his best friend, but not anymore.

It was hard to believe how different Matt's personality was. I had no idea that amnesia could change a person's personality, but like Doc said, the brain is a delicate thing. Matt seemed much more laid back, which made sense. I guess without the burden of being a lawman, maybe this is how Matt would act. I wonder if he pursued her or if she pursued him. I don't know why I continued to torture myself with such questions.

I hurried through the rest of my baked chicken dinner, put some money on the table and stood to leave. Matt must have noticed me because he called my name.

"Hello, Kitty." I looked over and plastered on a polite smile.

"Hello, Dan. Miss Yardner."

"Oh, do call me Mike. I've heard a lot about you," she said.

"Only good things, I hope," I said with a straight face. If I knew Dodge, particularly the female citizens, I was sure that Mike had heard her share of lies and half truths. She confirmed my suspicions when she blushed a little. "Well, I don't want to take up anymore of your time. I'll see you two around." I glanced at Matt and he was giving me that look again. I wanted to bop him upside the head. Every time he gave me that look he got my hopes up just a little and they would ultimately fall when he didn't come running and tell me that he remembered everything.

**mKm**

"Ya know, Miss Kitty, you sure are takin' this awful well," Chester told me as he, Doc and I sat at a table in the Long Branch. "I mean…me and Doc are Mr. Dillon's friends, but you…" Chester could be really blunt sometimes.

"Well, what is she supposed to do, Chester?" Doc snapped.

"I don't know, Doc! I just know that if it were me…I don't know that I could sit by and watch it happen." Chester was right. I don't know how I was sitting here watching. And even though I still had my train ticket and most of my things were still packed, something inside of me wouldn't leave. There had been many times in the past when I had to trust my instincts. I wish I had trusted them more on the day Matt left for Hayes. I wasn't going to stop listening to them though and right now they were telling me to stay.

"Well, Kitty," said Doc looking at his watch, "I think I'm gonna call it a night."

"Alright, Doc, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Me, too, Miss Kitty, I've gotta be up early tomorrow. Mr. Wayne and I have to go out to the Smothers' farm." I said goodnight to them and sat back in my seat to finish my beer. A few minutes later, I felt a presence behind me and I looked up into the face of Dan. He never wore his hat as much as he used to, his gun belt either. I was getting used to it, but it was still strange to see the hair on his face. I felt it a little when he kissed me the other day, but that was little more than a peck. I wanted to touch it and see what it really felt like. About that kiss though…

"What were you thinking about when you kissed me?" I asked him right out. Chester's method wasn't so bad all the time. Matt looked a little embarrassed. Heck, I wasn't shy and I wasn't going to start being. Besides, I think I had a right to know.

"Kitty, is there somewhere we could talk alone?" he asked.

"In my office." I led the way and he followed. Once inside, I offered him a drink.

"No, thanks." I walked over to my desk and sat.

"Well, Dan, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?" I hated having to be so impersonal with him, but it was the only way to keep myself from hurting too badly.

"I want you to tell me about us." I was shocked.

"Ma…Dan…" I stuttered.

"No, I want you to call me Matt…it sounds right when you say it," he said, pulling up a chair in front of me. He was really starting to confuse me. One moment I would see him happy as could be with Mike and the next moment he was staring me down like he wanted to have his way with me. "Kitty please," he begged as he reached for my hand. There he went touching me again. I didn't pull away though. I guess I was still desperate to have a connection with him, even if we were just holding hands. "Dr. Adams keeps telling me to let things happen naturally, but when I do remember something, I can't tell if it's real or if it's a dream," he explained frustrated. He sighed and looked down at our hands. "Mike…she doesn't always understand. She thinks I should just focus on the future, but I can't. My mind is like a jumble. I hear the bits and pieces of conversations about myself, but that isn't enough. I need to hear the truth." I felt so bad for him. "Tell me, Kitty…please." Doc was gonna kill me.

I didn't tell him everything, but I told him a lot. I told him some things about us, but I tried to stay away from the intimate details. Matt and I had a very passionate relationship, but that was something I truly wanted him to remember on his own. If what I told him triggered any memories, he didn't tell me. My guess was that they hadn't. We had been in my office a good hour and a half before Sam came knocking on the door and Matt'd had that drink after all. "I'll be out in just a minute, Sam," I said closing the door back. I was so tired. I stretched my arms out and rolled my neck.

"I'm sorry," Matt said as he stood from the chair and sat his glass on the table. "You must be awful tired."

"It's okay," I told him. He still hadn't answered my question. "Matt, you still never told me what you were thinking about…in the store the other day." His cheeks reddened again.

"Uh…actually I had dream a while back. You and I were…you know," he said running a hand through his hair and scratching the back of his head.

"Oh," I said turning around to open the door with a small smile on my face. I actually felt some better after talking with him. I realized that as much as I was hurting, this situation was hard for Matt as well…maybe harder.

"Kitty, do you think we could talk again sometime soon? I feel comfortable talking to you…more so than anyone else I've met in Dodge." He had such a helpless look in his eyes. I couldn't say no.

"Sure, Matt."

**kMk**

A few more days had passed and I hadn't seen much of Matt or Mike. I needed a change of scenery anyhow, so I saddled my horse and headed out for a nice long ride on the plain. Just as I was mounting up, I saw Matt and Mike coming out of the Dodge House. They were smiling about something and then Mike leaned up to kiss him. There went my day. I immediately became angry and tears unexpectedly stung my eyes. I nudged my mare on and left town just as fast as I could. Yeah, I was definitely in need of a change in scenery.

I probably rode for a good five or six miles before I stopped. I wasn't sure how much more of Dodge and Dan and Mike I could take and I was ready to say the hell with instinct. I think what hurt the most about all of this was the fact that Matt was doing things with Mike that he would have never done with me. I didn't mean to sound selfish, but that's just how I felt. I don't think Matt ever once showed me affection in public. He asked Mike to marry him. He told me that he would never consider marriage as long as he was a marshal. Now, he was no longer a marshal and he was buying land for a home with her. I knew that none of this was Matt's fault, but I felt like a reject.

I jumped down off the horse and walked over to a tree, tying her to it. Then I plopped down at the base of it and hugged my knees and cried. I hadn't had one really good cry since Matt came back to town and it was finally starting to hit me…hard. I cried my eyes out and sobbed out loud. I think I scared the horse a few times. I felt like a fool. Chester was right. How could I sit and watch all this stuff happening? I decided right then and there that I was through with Dodge. I wasn't going to put myself through this anymore. I didn't deserve it.

When my tears slowed down, I leaned back against the tree and closed my eyes. It probably took me all of twenty seconds to fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Gunsmoke: Sometimes Love Part 2**

I was shocked awake by the sound of a rifle and I opened my eyes just in time to see my mare break lose. I stood and scrambled inelegantly after her, but it was no use. I turned around with fire in my eyes to see _Dan_ riding up. I was pissed now.

"Just what do you think you were doing?" I said with my hands on my hips.

"There was a rattle snake back there, so I killed it," he explained. He was probably out here looking at that land I overheard them talking about.

"Well, just great. Now my horse is gone!" I turned around and stalked off in the general direction she had gone. I heard him bring his horse up beside me.

"Kitty, what's wrong?" He probably saw my face and I probably looked a fright from all the crying I had done.

"Nothing," I said as I kept walking.

"Look, Kitty, finding the horse is no big deal. I'll help you get her back."

"No," I practically shouted at him. "I'll find her myself." I heard him dismount and come up behind me.

"Kitty, be reasonable here! It's starting to get pretty hot out here and things would go a lot faster if you would just mount up with me." I ignored him and just kept walking.

"Kitty!" he said exasperatedly as he grabbed my arm. I whipped around to face him.

"There you go touching me again!" I tried to yank free, but he wouldn't let go. "Let me go!" I yelled and gave him a shove to the chest that did absolutely nothing to move him.

"No, not until you calm down and tell me what's wrong!"

"Fine," I said. "What's wrong is that I hate you!" His brow furrowed. "I hate you for forgetting me and I hate you for falling in love with another woman!" I shouted at him. His grip loosened on my arm and I turned away crying into my hands. A few minutes went by with neither of us saying anything and then I felt him close behind me. He gently put his hands on my arms and spoke.

"Kitty…I'm so sorry," he said softly. I felt terrible. I slowly turned around to face him.

"No…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that to you. You didn't deserve any of that." I stood there sniffing and wiping my face and then he reached up and began brushing my tears away with his thumbs. It only made me cry more and he pulled me into a hug. We stayed that way for a few moments until I calmed down some.

"You know," he began softly, "These past few weeks…even from just the small amount of time that we have spent together…I…I can't believe I forgot you either." What a sweet thing to say. I was truly charmed and it just made me love him even more. Matt then took my hand and led me over to a nearby tree where he ordered me to sit. I watched as he walked back over to his horse and grabbed his canteen. He pulled a bandana from his back pocket as he walked back to me and sat down beside me. He wet the rag some and then brought it to my face.

"I'm sure I look terrible," I sniffed as I tried to take the rag away from him, but he held his hand away so I couldn't. Then he continued to wipe my cheeks and my runny nose. I watched his face as he did this and I saw such tenderness. My eyes traveled down to his mouth and my hand went to his face of its own will. My fingers lightly traced his strong jaw and then the hair around his mouth. After a time, I noticed that he had stopped wiping my face. The cloth was on the ground and his hand was resting on my elbow. I felt him pulling me closer and I didn't resist. This time, when his lips touched mine, I paid attention to the way his beard felt against my mouth. It felt good. I felt his tongue teasing my lips and I opened to him.

"Kitty…" he whispered against my mouth. His kisses trailed down to my jaw and then to my neck. "I don't remember the details," he said in between kisses, "But I remember the feel of you," his hand rubbed my hip, "The smell of you," he nuzzled my neck and tickled me with his beard, "The taste…" Before I knew it, my back was to the ground and Matt was on top of me as we kissed madly. It was like we couldn't get close enough. I knew that if one of us didn't stop we would end up making love right there. As good as it felt, I knew we had to stop. I knew that it wouldn't be right.

"Matt…" I said breathlessly as I pushed on his chest. "We have to stop." He rested his head on my shoulder for a few moments and I rubbed his back trying to help him calm down. After a bit, he stood and helped me to my feet. He held my hand as he untied the horse, having yet to say anything. He hoisted me up first and then climbed on behind me. He put his arm around my waist and we continued on in the direction of my mare and came to her, just a couple hundred yards away, grazing.

"Kitty, I'm falling in love with you..." he blurted. I turned around and faced him, shocked once again. He had such a vulnerable look on his face. He climbed down from the horse and then helped me down.

"Matt," I said facing him. It would be so easy to steal him away from Mike right then, but I knew that I had to put my feelings aside and tell him nothing but the right thing. "You've promised things to Mike," I said simply. I knew that Matt was a man with honor, a man who kept his word. Surely, amnesia couldn't have changed that. I reached for his hand before I spoke again to take the sting out of my words. "You haven't promised me anything." It was the truth. I pulled him into a tight hug and tried to hold my tears in check. I felt like I had just pretty much forced him into Mike's arms. Things would be so much easier if she was a liar, or a sneak, or _something_! But she wasn't. She was an innocent in this mess. We all were and that's what made everything so hard. I pulled back some and placed my hand on Matt's face. Then I pulled his head down and kissed him like it was the last.

Once again, we pulled away breathless. I grabbed the reins to my mare and climbed up. "Wait," he said. I watched as he grabbed the canteen from his horse and brought it back over to me. I took it with a shaky smile and trotted back toward Dodge alone.

**mKm**

I was in the general store shopping for a few things I would need on my trip. I thought about going back to New Orleans because it was familiar, but I had only left there three years ago and I was pretty sure that the reasons I left would still be there, so New Orleans was a no go. Maybe St. Louis or Chicago. New York had even crossed my mind. I wasn't sure about any place yet, but I knew that I was leaving. It had been another week and Matt hadn't come to see me once. I did see Mike around though and she seemed to be carrying on with business as usual. She didn't look particularly sad or anything, so I assumed she was the one he had chose. Knowing that for sure now, I knew that I couldn't sit by and watch Matt marry another woman. The train left out tomorrow evening and I would be on it.

My eyes were scanning the shelves when I heard someone come in. I didn't bother turning to see who it was. Then I noticed the footsteps approaching me and I turned around to look face to face at Mike.

"Hello, Miss Russell."

"Hello," I returned with a neutral face. I didn't feel much like smiling.

"I heard that you were leaving town," she said. Howie probably told her. If she knew, then that meant Matt probably knew also.

"That's right." She fidgeted a little with her handbag.

"Well, Miss Russell, I just wanted to tell you…that Matt's happy now." Pfft! She says that as if he wasn't before. If I had been in my right mind, I would have realized that she said that out of fear.

It was just later that night when I did realize it. I was just finishing my bath when there was a knock on the door. "Just a moment," I yelled as I hurried to put on a robe. I looked at the clock as I went to the door. The bar had closed just a few moments ago and I figured maybe it was Sam or Bill coming up to tell me something, so I didn't bother much with my appearance. I opened the door to see Matt leaning against the wall across from my door with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked a bit disheveled. His hair was a little messy, the top few buttons of his shirt were undone and his eyes looked tired. "Matt," I said as he pushed off the wall and came closer. I was surprised that it was him at first, but then I figured that maybe he just came to say goodbye.

"Kitty, can I come in. I need to talk to you." I simply moved aside and he walked by me. I wondered if he was surprised by the state of the room. Except for the bedding, two outfits, and a few toiletries, it was empty and all of my luggage was stacked near the door. "I heard that you were leaving," he said as he turned back around to face me.

"Yeah," I said as I stayed leaning against the now closed door. "I guess you came to say goodbye, huh?" I kept my gaze to the floor.

"No," he whispered. I whipped my gaze up at him and watched as he came closer. "I ended things with Mike tonight. She's going to be leaving tomorrow." My heart was beating fast. It always seemed to be doing that around him.

"You did?" I asked. He kept on coming closer.

"Yeah." He came to a stop directly in front of me and he took a hold of my hands. "I don't want you to leave, Kitty." He took my hands and put them around his neck, which caused me to have to press fully against him. Now don't get me wrong, I love, love, love my Matt Dillon, but I have to admit that amnesia Matt seems to be much more suave than regular Matt. I felt his large hands as they slid down to my waist, his thumbs lightly rubbing my stomach. I looked into his eyes and I saw, love, passion and gentleness. I leaned in and kissed him lightly and then I laid my head on his chest, reveling in the feel of him. He put his arms fully around me and hugged me tight. I wanted to be with him, but I knew that we had a lot to talk about.

My eyes began to water as we stood there quietly. I had been on am emotional carousel for so long now. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life. I sniffed and Matt pulled away looking down at me. "Are you alright?" he asked me. I just nodded my head and gave him a small smile. He then led me over to the bed so we could sit. "I should probably tell you what happened," he said as we scooted back against the head board to get comfortable. I curled around him and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Only if you want to," I told him quietly, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious.

"You have a right to know," he said with a kiss to my forehead. "Kitty, I won't lie." I didn't want him to. "When I first woke up from my injury and saw Mike, I was very attracted to her and I did come to love her. She had been living with her father. I stayed with them for a long time…and then eventually, I asked her to marry me." He paused for a minute. "We were sort of caught up with each other for a while and never even gave much thought to trying to figure out who I was." They sure were caught up! They only had eyes for each other when they stepped off the stage. "Eventually, I did though and that's what led us to Dodge. Mike and her father suggested it." I was guessing that Mike was regretting that decision about now. "The first time I saw you here in Dodge," Matt continued, "You were coming out of the bank and I immediately felt drawn to you. I felt bad about that, too, considering I was with Mike. Then, when I saw you in the general store… It was like I couldn't think straight." That brought a smile to my lips. He had told me the same thing about when he first saw me three years ago, but he only told me a year after we had been together. "I was immediately attracted to you, but it went beyond a physical attraction. I felt like I knew you on a deeper level." He chuckled a little. "And I certainly didn't mean to go kissing you," he said sheepishly. "And then I couldn't get that dream out of my head…"

"It probably was more like a memory, Cowboy," I told him as I patted his chest. He sat up and looked at me, which caused me to have to readjust.

"You called me that a lot didn't you?"

"Cowboy? Yeah."

"I remember," he said smiling. We sat up for most of the night talking. He told me more about Mike and some of the things they had talked about doing. I could tell that he felt really bad about breaking things off with her, but he told me that he wasn't sorry about the decision he made. I told him a little more about his life in Dodge and it turned out that he had actually been remembering a few things. "I don't think Chester likes me," he stated. That caused me to laugh out loud. I looked up into Matt's face and I saw that he was pouting a little.

"Oh, Matt," I said, trying to control my laughter, "You're his best friend. I think he just doesn't know how to deal with the fact that you don't remember him," I explained.

"Hmm, maybe I'll make more of an effort to get to know him then."

"That'd be nice."

"Dr. Adams has been kind to me throughout all this, too." I nodded. "I'm not sure about some of the people in this town though. I've overheard some pretty rotten talk."

"Well, don't worry, too much, about them. Some of the people here will say anything that goes against you and I being together. They don't understand how the Marshal of Dodge City could have fallen for a worthless saloon girl," I told him simply. I think that upset him.

"Well, I don't give a damn what any of them say. All I know is that I love you," he said. He moved so that he was facing me. "Even though I had strong feelings for Mike, something inside of me knows that I've never felt anything like what I feel for you. As much as I hated to hurt her, I knew that it would be a mistake to marry her. I just wish that I could remember everything about you…us." He then leaned in and began nibbling my lips. I don't think a lifetime of kisses from him would be enough. We stayed that way for a long time and it was just the beginning of our rediscovery of each other.

**mKm**

Another month had gone by and things were starting to get back to some semblance of normal. Matt still had not regained his full memory, but he was making progress. Of all the things for him to remember, I thought for sure that he would remember his job because it was such an important part of his life, but so far he remembered nothing about it. I thought that was strange and I asked Doc about it.

"Well, Kitty, I've thought a lot about that, too," he said as we sat in his office one afternoon having coffee. "Sometimes, when a person gets amnesia, certain memories are suppressed more than others. I think in Matt's case, his job wasn't usually anything pleasant. But with you…his memories of you were probably the more happy times in his life. That's probably why he remembered you fairly quickly." That caused a shy smile to light my face. "But his job involved a lot of killing and violence and it probably isn't something he wants to recall."

Doc and I talked for a while longer and then I left to meet Matt. We had been spending an awful lot of time together and I loved every minute of it. I practically wallowed in every minute of it considering just a short time ago I thought I would never see him again. Fall was fast approaching and we decided to go out on a picnic and enjoy some of the last few warm days. I packed us a lunch of sandwiches, potato salad, and apple pie for dessert. We found a nice, secluded spot by the creek and spent the time talking and just being together.

"You want anything else to eat?" I asked him before we got cozy on the spread out blanket.

"Nah, not right now." I lay down on my back and gave a long, lazy stretch. Matt was lying on his side next to me, propped up by an elbow and looking down at me. We had taken our shoes off earlier when we decided to dangle our feet in the creek. "Tired?" he asked as he reached over and brushed a clump of hair from my forehead.

"Just a little," I smiled. I reached my hand up and rubbed his now clean shaven face. I was so surprised when he came into the saloon one day and his goatee was gone. I was growing rather fond of it. When I asked him why he shaved it he told me that it reminded him, too much, of the time when he couldn't remember me. Aww. He was such a sweet man. It was no surprise that woman were always after him.

He took my hand and kissed the palm. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Matt." I pulled him down on top of me and we kissed and kissed. We had come close many times, but we had yet to make love. I think most of the resistance came from me. Something kept on telling me that we should wait, but it had been a month now and I didn't want to wait anymore. The spot we had chosen gave us plenty of privacy and even if someone did find us, we would hear them long before they saw us.

I let Matt know I was ready by deepening our kisses. I teased his lips with my tongue and trailed kisses down his jaw and to his neck. "Are you sure, Kitty?" he asked me.

"Yes," I breathed. My body was missing the feel of his. He pulled back and we both sat up. I kneeled across his lap and began unbuttoning his shirt as we exchanged more kisses. I felt his hands traveling around to my back where he began unbuttoning my dress. I then pulled his shirt free from his pants and pushed it off of his shoulders, exposing his well muscled chest that was covered in a light layer of hair. I ran my fingers through it and then I leaned forward and lightly bit his shoulder as he finished with my buttons. He pushed the dress down to my waist, my shift still covering my body.

"Stand up," he told me. I did so and he followed me. His hands pushed my dress the rest of the way down my hips as my hands worked on his belt. He helped me lift the shift over my head and I watched as he took in the sight of my body. His large hand gently massaged my breast while the other caressed my hip. The feel nearly made me swoon. I pushed his pants and underwear down his legs and my eyes roamed the length of his body. I reached out to touch him and then I looked up into his hooded eyes as he leaned down to kiss me. He guided me back down to the blanket and gently pressed his body against my own. He proceeded to love me inch by inch and I returned the favor with pleasure.

**kMk**

Much later, we lay on the blanket softly caressing and dozing. I was almost asleep when Matt spoke. "Kitty?" he said close to my ear.

"Yes?"

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately," he said as his fingers played in the curvature of my lower back. "I want us to live together." That woke me up. I looked into his eyes and I saw the seriousness there.

"I think I'd like that," I told him. He smiled and then suddenly he sat up.

"Where're my pants?" he said looking around.

"Right here," I said as I lifted up. I had been using them as a pillow. I watched as he grabbed them and started searching through the pockets. He pulled out a small box, but silly me thought nothing of it. "I thought there was something hard I was lying on," I said as I rubbed my head a little. I continued watching as Matt opened the box and pulled out a small gold band. There went my heart again.

"Kitty, I don't ever want us to be apart again. I want you to be my wife and the mother of my babies… Will you marry me?" I pretty much just stared at him with my mouth hanging open. I never even saw it coming.

"Kitty?" he said. His face was starting to fall a little.

"Matt…I…" Tears came to my eyes out of nowhere and poured down my cheeks. Matt scooted closer to me and took me in his arms while I continued to cry.

"Please, don't cry…you don't have to say yes…its okay," he said rocking me. I wanted more than anything in the world to say yes, but I was scared. After I had calmed down some, I pulled back and looked into his face.

"I'm sorry, Matt," I sniffed. He reached for his shirt and blotted my face with it.

"Its okay, Kitty. I thought you would be happy though."

"I am happy," I said unconvincingly with a watery smile. "I'm just…scared."

"Scared of what?" he asked me softly. I had a lot of explaining to do. I took a deep breath and began.

"Matt, before, when you were the marshal, you're job was _very_ important to you. You took a lot of pride in it and you were a _good_ marshal. It came with a price though," I explained. "You told me from the beginning that you couldn't promise me a future. Sure, there were plenty of times when we dreamed and imagined and talked about someday, but you never felt that you had the right to have a wife…or a family. Your job would always pose a threat to them, you told me."

"But Kitty, things are different now," he told me. "I'm _not_ the marshal anymore…and I don't want to be. What I want is for you and me to have a life together." I wanted so badly to just go with it.

"Oh, Matt, don't you see? I know it's been a slow progress, but you _have_ been getting your memory back. What if you start remembering being the marshal? All those feelings could come back with it." He had such a sad look on his face. I put my hand to his cheek. "Matt, I love you more than anything, but I don't want to stand in between you and something that I know is so important to you," I finished.

"Kitty, I know I don't remember everything about my past, but I do know that we came very close to losing each other forever. I don't want that to happen again and I know that my being the marshal is in part to blame. I'm not trying to talk you into saying yes here, but I know that you are the most important thing in my life. Maybe this is a second chance for us…for me to do it right this time." All I could do was hug him tight. We stayed that way for a while until I spoke again.

"Matt, I do want to marry you," I said making a decision, "And I want to wear your ring, but I think maybe we should just be engaged for now." I could see renewed hope in his eyes. "We could just wait for a little while…just in case." He nodded his agreement. I watched as he took my hand and slipped the ring on it. It glinted in the bright sun and I couldn't stop the huge smile that spread across my face. We shared a few more kisses, got dressed and then headed back in to town.

**mKm**

It was awful hard not to get caught up in Matt's excitement. We decided to keep things to ourselves for a while. It seemed like Dodge was always in our business in some way, shape or form and it was nice to have this to ourselves. Even though we were supposed to be taking things slow, we talked about it all of the time and we even made a few plans to buy a house and some land. Matt had told me that he wanted to buy some cattle and become a rancher. It was nice to hear him talk about it because before, he always told me that if he wasn't a lawman that he would want to be a rancher. Sometimes I wondered what I would do with myself once we moved. I was so used to working that I really didn't have a chance to get into any hobbies, but I guess maybe I would now. I always liked the idea of making my own clothes. I already had a little practice in sewing, I could make a shirt if I had to, but now I would have the chance to learn more. I could clean if I had to. I would definitely have to do some cooking, but I already knew how to do that. I was just careful who I let know it. It was funny. A lot of people probably didn't think I knew how to do anything but work in a saloon--little did they know.

Matt had practically moved into the Long Branch with me. He didn't have very many belongings and most of what he did have was in my room. He did have a room at the boarding house though, just in case. We had decided that I would simply become a silent partner of the Long Branch. I hadn't told anyone, but I hoped to one day be sole owner of the Long Branch. Matt and I had learned of a homestead that was about ten miles away from Dodge. It was six and a half acres and it had its own pond. We had ridden out a couple of times to look at it and see what work would need to be done. It was really a very nice piece of land and we would be able to buy it for five hundred dollars. It was a very good deal. Matt was a little disappointed at first seeing as he only had three hundred dollars saved from his time as marshal. I gently reminded him that I had money, too, which I had already started thinking of as _our_ money. It would help us buy the ranch and we would have a little money to simply live off of.

"I know, Kitty, but I wanted to be able to buy our home for you."

"Matt," I said giving him a kiss on the forehead, "Don't worry about it. Once we get the ranch started, you'll be able to make a profit and then you can spend all the money you want on me." That got him to smile.

Aside from planning our future together, we also made sure to make time for our friends. Doc, Chester and occasionally the new marshal would join us for drinks at the Long Branch most nights. Matt was reestablishing his relationships with Doc and Chester and he even had a few memories of them. Doc believed that he was making fine progress. In the back of my mind, I was still scared that he would remember his time as marshal. Things were going so well and we were only a few weeks away from being married. I just knew that any minute he would have a flashback and all of our plans would be for nothing. It definitely didn't help my nerves when Chester and Marshal Wayne talked about this and that criminal that they brought in or ran out of town. I would watch Matt's face as they talked and he had a general interest, like Doc or myself, but nothing more. It was as if being a lawman was completely out of his system.

**kMk**

We were now only a week away from getting married. We told Doc and Chester and some of our other friends and they were more than happy for us. I didn't want a big ceremony. Something small would do me just fine and Matt agreed. It turns out his room at the boarding house came in handy after all. I made him sleep there until our wedding day. He wasn't happy about that, but I wanted things to be special. We still spent most of the days together though. One afternoon in particular, we were having lunch at Delmonico's.

"So everything is set," he told me as he cut into his chicken, "We got the deed last week…"

"Right. It's in the safe at the Long Branch." We were going through a mental checklist to make sure everything was in order.

"We'll have a shipment of cattle three weeks from now. I've been going out and doing work to the place everyday. I fixed that busted window and the fences still need a little work, but everything is going just fine." He took a drink of his coffee. "Have you squared everything up at the Long Branch?" he asked.

"Yeah, everything is settled with Bill," I told him as I finished with the last bite of my food. I took one last sip of coffee, dabbed the corners of my mouth and sat my napkin down.

"You ready?"

"Sure am," I said. Matt pulled a dollar from his pocket and sat it on the table. We walked toward the door and he put his arm around my waist as we stepped out onto the boardwalk.

"Did you find a dress?" he whispered to me as we headed toward the post office. I smiled up at him and winked. I did find a dress and it was nice and simple and beautiful.

We continued along when suddenly there were shouts and gunfire coming from the jail. Matt immediately placed his body in front of mine as we both tried to see what was going on. A brown haired man slowly backed out of the jail with a gun pointed toward the open door. He looked around, spotted a horse near by and made his way to it. Matt and I watched as he galloped past. Then, Chester came running out of the building, yelling for someone to get Doc. "Stay here," Matt told me as he ran across the street to the jail. I stayed watching for a while and eventually a few men came out carrying Marshal Wayne toward Doc's. He appeared to be conscious, but he had a bad wound on his leg and his shoulder. Matt was still inside. The immediate danger seemed to be over, so I figured Matt would be okay and I began walking back toward the Long Branch. I had only walked about five steps when I heard my name being called. "Kitty," Matt said as he jogged across the street to me. And once again, there went my heart, but it was for a different reason this time. It was out of fear. In his hand was a rifle and I was so scared that everything I had feared to happen was happening. "Kitty, listen, Chester needs my help going after this man since Wayne can't make it. I promise I'll be back just as soon as I can." I'd heard that line so many times in the past. I just stood there as he took my chin and leaned down to kiss me. He ran over to the stables and I watched as he and Chester rode out.

**mKm**

The sun had set long ago and they still weren't back yet. I sat in my office staring at some paperwork that I had yet to touch. I was too busy worrying and trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Matt and I probably wouldn't be going through with our wedding. Today only proved that he still had a need to be involved with the law and I wasn't going to try and stop him…it was a part of him. When he got back, I would simply tell him that I couldn't marry him. Truthfully, I would marry him whether he was a lawman or not, but I knew how he felt about that and I would only be a worry to him. I loved him too much to try and force him into anything. I was determined not to impede his work in any way.

By the time the Long Branch closed, they still weren't back. I sat in my room going about my nightly rituals. Then I crawled into bed and laid there for hours until I finally fell asleep.

Breakfast, lunch and even dinner had passed the next day and they still weren't back. I guess you could say that things were getting back to normal around here. Matt was gone after some dangerous criminal and I was left here worrying. I was in my room, once again, getting ready for bed. My wedding dress was hanging in the corner and I stood and walked to it. I ran my hand down the lacey, cream colored fabric and then I grabbed it by the hanger and stuffed it into the armoire where I usually kept all my other dresses, but they were still packed away for when we moved to the ranch. All of my stuff was. Matt was supposed to come by with a wagon tomorrow to take everything to the house so it would be ready when I got there. I hadn't been by to see the place in weeks. It was supposed to be a surprise for our wedding day. Matt told me he would leave the decorating up to me though, of course, so everyday I would go by the store and pick out wallpaper and different things that we would need. I closed my eyes to clear my thoughts and went to bed.

The next night, I was standing on the balcony when he walked in. This was it. I would tell him that the whole thing was off and that would be that. I stood up straight when his eye caught mine. I squared my shoulders as he climbed up the steps to meet me. He looked so worn out as he trudged up the steps. He gave me a tired smile as he reached the top and then he walked straight up to me and enveloped me in a big hug. "I missed you, Kitty." My natural response was to hug him back just as tight. Then he gave me a big ol' kiss. If we had looked down to the floor, we would have seen plenty of eyes staring up at us, but I didn't care. Never before had Matt been so openly physical in expressing how much he missed me. He usually saved that for when we were alone. The longer he kissed me, the more I kept thinking that maybe I was being to hasty in my decision to call things off. After a few more moments he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.

"You stink," I told him. He gave me a huge grin and I pulled him into my room. I fixed him a bath and while he was washing, I went downstairs to get him something to eat. After that we slept for a few hours and he woke me up during the middle of the night. Needless to say, we broke our promise of waiting and we made love well into the morning. I never did get around to telling him that I had called the whole thing off.

**mKm**

"We should just elope," he told me the next morning as we lounged in bed. I turned my head and looked at him.

"Okay." He looked at me a little curious, like he wasn't sure if I was serious or not.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Like today?"

"Yeah, why not? What are we waiting for?" I questioned as I sat up, liking the idea more and more. "We should get up right now, get dressed and go over to the church." I know that it was my idea to wait in the first place, but now…now I was sick of waiting. We were so close to the day anyway, what would it hurt for us to hurry it along? Matt stared at me a little longer and then he smiled.

"Okay."

**kMk**

So, we split up to get things ready and three hours later we were standing in the empty church as the reverend spoke to us. I stared into Matt's eyes with tears falling from my own and I saw that he was truly happy. It was in that moment that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he wanted this just as much as I did. I would have been making a huge mistake if I had called things off before. I think this is a moment that every girl dreams about, but I never thought that it would actually be happening to me.

I watched as he placed the ring on my finger and the tears came even harder. What was happening between us was so much more than this worldly ceremony. What I felt for Matt Dillon went beyond the physical. I felt like my spirit was forever connected to his and the feeling was _so_ overpowering. I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine. I hugged him to me and whispered _I love you_ into his ear. He picked me up and spun me around and I giggled with happiness. I was now Mrs. Matthew Dillon.

We thanked the reverend profusely and walked out of the church hand in hand to our waiting wagon. It wasn't the most romantic ride in the world, but since we moved the wedding forward, we had to pack everything in a hurry to take with us. Matt helped me up and I watched as he walked around to the other side and climbed up. He grabbed the reigns and we were on our way to start our life together.

Sometimes love went beyond what you _ever_ imagined it could be.

The End.


End file.
